Loony Tunes

Loon pants were quite simply bleeding mad. I had a pair from Countdown in Hallgate, Wigan. They were plain black, insufferably tight and flared at the bottom. I wanted a pair of ‘Split-knee Loons” but they were sold out in my size when I went for them. ‘Split-knee loons’ did what they said on the label and were two different colours – above and below the knee. Hence split-knee.
I wore them with platform heels or clogs, a tie-dyed grandad tee shirt, scoop-necked tee or cheesecloth normal shirt and a lumberjack coat.
I adored them.
The fact that my balls were crushed to an inch of their lives mattered not at all – because this was fashion. Fashion with a capital F. They were advertised in the back of the NME and Sounds and that was all we cared about.
Of course, they looked a million times better on girls but, hey who cared?
They were low-slung trousers, were skin-tight down to the knee and then flared out like a pair of balloons. In time balloon turned into loon.
We must have been to wear them…

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